Why I Cut Off All My Hair and Quit Music

I had always dreamed of being the girl who could cut off all her hair and not have a care in the world. Then, those little voices always managed to creep in. “Who will I be without my curls? What if I don’t look good with short hair? Will people look at me differently?” Today was different.

“I want to chop it all off.” I told my hairdresser with conviction. It was time for a change. After all, India Arie said it best…

I am not my hair,
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations
I am a soul that lives within

If you read my last blog post, you probably know I needed to take a break from music for a bit. I was feeling burned out. The whole thing was feeling stale, including my image as an artist. I started to feel like I was spinning my wheels in quick sand, and the only way to survive was to stop moving. So I stopped, and for some people that meant I “quit” music.

The truth is, I never really quit music. I just took a break from playing shows. I needed time to re-evaluate some things and adjust my sails. I spent my free time writing and working on new songs. I also decided it was time for a new look.

Right after I chopped my hair for the first time!

As ridiculous as this sounds, I felt like my hair owned me, like I owed my curls something. No one owns ALP! So I decided to take the plunge and do something I’ve always wanted to do – chop off all my hair. Turns out, I love having short hair, and I don’t regret it for a second! In my opinion, every woman should do it at least once in their life!

Now, if you remember, I quit my day job after The Voice and became a full-time musician. So after I decided to “quit” being a full-time musician, I was faced with the reality that I’d need to pick up a full-time job again. So I did.

At first it was a refreshing breeze of consistency and predictability, but my inner musician quickly rose up and gave my those “What the hell are you doing?” eyes. I began to resent the fact that I had succumbed to the 9-5 life again. I had bills to pay, a wedding to plan and new music I wanted to record. I saw no other way.

Then, it happened.

I realized that my music dreams were the most valuable thing to me aside from my family. I was determined to make it work! I reached out to producer Sam Polizzi to see if he’d be interested in working with me on a new album. I sent him some demos, and he immediately sent me back ideas he had for one of my songs. I knew right away he was the right guy to work with.

The songs I was writing were deep, personal, haunting reflections of issues I don’t talk about much.

It was time to show the world a different side of me – the side that hurts, that screws things up, the side that’s not all sunshine and butterflies, and at the same time – the side that’s overcome a lot of shit.

Since the new year, I’ve been working hard in the studio with Sam to make the music reflect the feeling of the lyrics. He’s done an excellent job of doing that, and between the two of us, we’ve come up with some killer sounds and ideas. I am so excited to share these songs with the world! I’ve got lots more to say so that won’t be the end of it either!

I’ve been able to pull off paying for all the recordings costs, including hiring musicians, renting studio space and paying for Sam’s time. Quality comes with a price though and we’ve come to a standstill until I have the funds to mix, master and manufacture. I was leery at first because I hate asking people for money, but I decided to try reaching out to my fans to help me out. So I launched an IndieGoGo Campaign to help do just that.

I’ve never been able to afford making a music video or a promotion campaign so I’m stretching my goal to make that happen as well. Making this EP is amazing in itself, but getting it heard all across the country would be epic! That’s really what needs to happen in order to take my music career further. I know we can do this together!

So why did I cut off my hair and “quit” music? Well, because sometimes you need to step away from something you love in order to see its value. I know music is what I was born to do. If I can change just one person’s life with my music I will have succeeded. But changing the world with my music? That’s what it’s all about.

This Is The Voice! – Part VI

You win some, you lose some, but in the end it’s all in how you play the game. And you better be damn proud of how you played it!

In the weeks leading up to the Battles I did nothing but take some much needed chill time, which of course included practicing. Almost every song I cover gets a unique A.L.P. spin, and because I had already been playing Jolene for so long, it did take a little adjusting to conform to the Battle arrangement. I didn’t want to over think it, but I needed a secret weapon. I needed to add something to the song that no one had heard or would expect.

Something else I tried to work on was my “blocking” or how I would move on stage. I had to go big this time. Sandy really challenged me in this aspect. She said to really go for it, even if it feels awkward. I’ve had my fair share of experience on stage without a guitar, but not like this. I had to bump it up about 10 notches. I practiced in front of a mirror and studied my movements right down to the details. I practiced until it no longer looked like a middle school dance routine.

About a month went by, and I was on a plane back to LA. I was feeling confident and excited. This time I was way more relaxed about everything. I knew exactly what to expect this time. I walked into the hotel cool as a cucumber. Looks like I’d be getting another chance at rooming with Jean Kelley.

Jean was quite hilarious and full of energy. She was also an avid Harry Potter fan. I’ve never watched any of the Harry Potter movies nor read any of the books (not that I would be opposed to doing so). Upon learning this, Jean enthusiastically played a Harry Potter movie she had on her laptop and explained what was happening in each scene. I enjoyed her energy, and we frequently exchanged music stories and Voice conspiracy theories. She was partnered up with Sugar for the Battle Round, and they gave me a sneak peak of their Battle performance. Holy Crap! Talk about making the stage explode!

The same schedule followed as usual: voice lessons, blocking, filming and meeting with our coach one last time. Taylor and I presented our polished performance of Jolene to Gwen and she loved it, though she did have some suggestions. She said we had to interact with each other more. We had to create a performance, not just sing. I agreed. After all, we wanted our Battle to be interesting enough to get air time. The last thing I wanted was to get montaged. A boring performance wouldn’t help our case.

Getting Montaged: Having your story, interviews and/or performances get cut or shown for only a bleep of a second on TV. This is the worst thing that could happen to a contestant. Getting montaged has nothing to do with whether you made it on the show or not. No matter how far you made it, if you got montaged the viewers would never learn who you are.

Taylor and I got together a few different times to make sure we completely nailed it. I suggested interacting a bit more, but he said he didn’t want to rehearse anything. He wanted it to look natural. I did too, but I also wanted it to be an entertaining performance. I brought it up several times, but he just wanted to go with the flow and feel the moment. Hmm, I thought maybe he had something up his sleeve and that he would break out some crazy breakdance move that would have Gwen melting in her chair. Well, whatever he decided to do, I knew I had to go big.

It was the day of the Battles and everyone was getting pumped. This time none of the wardrobe came out of my own closet. I firmly reinstated NO HEELS or dresses. They respected that, and I was pretty happy with what they picked out – blacked studded leggings with a casual suit jacket and some rocker boots. It looked pretty rockstar, and everyone was jealous of my sparkly pants. Even a couple of the hair dressers and make-up artists checked the tag to see who they were made by. Taylor looked adorable in his folky hipster outfit. This was going to be a great battle!

The infamous sparkly pants the day of the Battles!

We met up with Gwen backstage before going on. She was so sweet and told us we both looked great. She quietly whispered how nervous she was, which was endearing. She gave us a pep talk for the camera, and we were sent to our spots to be announced into the ring.

“Amanda Lee Peers – the confident graphic designer from Rochester, NY!” I walked out and waved to Sandy and my dad sitting in the audience (they allowed my dad to come in place of my mom this time). I met Taylor on stage with a curtsy and he returned with a bow (one of the few little things we did rehearse together).

We started in. I was having a bit of trouble hearing myself, but I just let muscle memory take over and went for it. The a cappella intro was dark and haunting, then the music kicked in. I cued the audience to start clapping their hands as Taylor took the first verse. “Go for it, go for it!” was all that kept ringing in my head. I came back with raw energy and soul, using the mic stand (one of Gwen’s suggestions) like it was my dance partner. Taylor stayed in one spot for the most part, but what his performance lacked he made up with his vocals. They were smooth and fluid. I pulled out all the stops, going up front in center and dropping to one knee.

The apex of our performance was coming up, and Taylor and I faced each other once again. I leaned into him, hoping he would see my game and lean back into me, but he just backed away. “Come on dude! Work with me here!” I was thinking. He slowly came back in for the end of the song and we sang into each others eyes, just as we had for the beginning of the song. We hugged it out and nervously looked at the judges to hear what they had to say. Check out our performance here.

Adam started off stating his undying love for Taylor (Adam was the other coach that turned around for Taylor in the Blinds), but then went on to say how Taylor should take notes on how passionate my performance was. Even though he said I had Taylor beat on the performance aspect, his pick was still Taylor.

Blake commented on how I “sang the crap out of that song” and that my performance was more believable. Something that they didn’t air was Blake’s disdain for Taylor’s lack of enthusiasm on stage. He stated in more or less words that “you should never look like you’re ungrateful to be on that stage.” Ouch. Blake said his pick was me.

Pharrell echo’d Adam and Blake’s sentiments on how well I worked the stage saying he appreciated how lost I got in the song and that my ad libs were beautiful. The ad libs were my “secret weapon” that I had saved for the Battle. I’m glad someone took notice to that! He also commented on Taylor’s star quality. They cut out that Pharrell’s pick was me.

Then there’s Gwen. She had nothing good to say about my performance and praised Taylor for how far he had come since the first practice with her and Gavin. She then went on to point out she was the only coach that turned around for me and how downhill my Blind performance went after she turned her chair. Granted, it wasn’t my best vocals, but I don’t think I deserved that. She made no comment on how I just poured my heart and soul into performing Jolene, especially after all three coaches pointed that out. Regardless, I was hoping she was just trying to make Taylor feel better before she picked me. “The winner of the Battle is going to be…..Taylor.”

My heart sank. I was in shock. I hugged Taylor and thanked the coaches for their kind words. Begging wasn’t my style so I just expressed how grateful I was for the opportunity and walked off stage to give them all a hug, anticipating a steal. I hugged Gwen first, and she regretfully said “Please don’t hate me.” I didn’t hate her. I knew it was all a part of the game. Pharrell told me he hoped I would come back next year. Blake was the last one to hug before the exit. Once I got past his chair that was it. I gave the giant teddy bear a hug, and he told me I did a great job. I was past the chair and no steal. I couldn’t believe it.

Sandy and my dad were there waiting for me as I exited the stage. They both were emotional, but I tried to stay strong. I didn’t want the cameras to see my disappointment. An interview followed with one of the producers. She stated they were all just as much shocked as I was about Gwen’s decision. One of the questions that was brought up was “Is this the end of the road for your music career?” Ha! “Absolutely not. This was only a pitstop on the way to the top.” I replied.

I was then escorted out to a golf cart where I’d be taken to give them back their clothes and change into mine. Then there was the “exit interview.” Basically, I had to meet with a shrink to make sure I wasn’t suicidal after being booted from the show. It sounds silly, but I can see why they do this. No matter what you tell yourself, no matter how you act, reality TV really messes with you mentally, emotionally and physically. I was emotional to say the least. I was heartbroken. I was confused. I felt betrayed. Tossed away like trash. I wasn’t going to kill myself, but I won’t lie and say I was fine. I wasn’t.

Me, Sandy and my dad went back to the hotel to spend the last night together before leaving the next morning. Luckily, they put us in the same hotel. During the course of the show, family and friends stayed in a different hotel, and were not allowed to see contestants except when filming.

I avoided Taylor at all costs. Not because I didn’t like him or that I blamed him, but because I felt like I won that Battle fair and square. I was resentful. I wasn’t ready to talk to him or really anyone else for that matter. It was getting late and of course those damn singer circles were roaring. This was all new to Sandy, and she was enjoying the music and camaraderie. I couldn’t stand it. We found a quiet place in a different part of the hotel. I completely broke down on her. I just couldn’t understand why I hadn’t been picked. It was killing me inside, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

I skipped spending my last night with my roommate Jean Kelley and opted to stay with Sandy and my dad. The next morning we all had breakfast, and I said goodbye to fellow contestants Ethan Butler and Griffin who happened to be having breakfast at the same time. We waited outside for the van to pull up. Jean Kelley came out and gave me a big hug goodbye. She had made it to the Knockouts, and I was happy for her.

I was curious to see who else would be joining me in the van home. Jonathan Wyndham walked up and started putting his bags in the van. “You’re leaving?” I was shocked! Jonathan was my buddy during the legal meetings. I’d always sit next to him and ask him to explain what all the legal jargon meant. Well, one thing was certain. I wasn’t alone.

The conspiracy theories started swirling in my head. Right before my Battle, I was pulled aside by a producer. “We need you to re-record what you said about being kicked out of the church.” What? Why? “Our legal team doesn’t want to get in a battle with the Christian church. Can you just say you didn’t feel welcome at the church anymore?” Did I have a choice? Not really. This literally happened right before I walked on stage.

I started replaying that in my head along with the fact that two of the coaches said I won that battle. Why wasn’t I stolen by them? I started thinking my journey was cut short, because The Voice didn’t want to deal with any legal difficulties my story might cause. I aired my theory with the show and followed it up with a phone call to one the staff members.

I started telling her my theory and completely balled my eyes out – which very few people have seen or heard me do. Seeing that I was clearly torn apart about the decision, she reassured me that I gave an amazing performance and that I’m more than who I was on The Voice. She tried to put my conspiracy theories to rest, stating she wouldn’t work for a company who would do something like that. I appreciated her reassurance. While I still wasn’t sure if I bought it, I welcomed her encouraging words.

For the next couple weeks I didn’t want to get off the couch. All sorts of self-loathing and self-pitying thoughts came into my head. One day Sandy finally gave me a well deserved ass kicking. I had my time to mourn, now it was time to regain my confidence and be proud of who I am and what I did. She was right. Enough was enough. This wasn’t me. I pushed through the pain and started writing and working on my music again. I wasn’t going to let The Voice conquer me.

My friends and family getting ready to watch my TV debut!

I wrote another letter to The Voice production team and thanked them for the entire experience. I also thanked them for giving me the opportunity to share my story and my voice and asked them to air my performances as well as my story. I emailed Gwen and expressed my gratitude once again for turning her chair and giving me the opportunity to be on the show. Lastly, I sent Taylor a long overdue congratulatory email and wished him the best of luck on the show.

The TV show aired and sure enough my entire story and performances were shown. I was so grateful for that. Watching my Battle on TV lifted my spirits, and my confidence was restored. I performed just as good if not better than I thought I did. It was one of the best performances I had ever given! I had absolutely no regrets. In life, you can only control what you do. You can’t control the actions of others. I gave it 110% and was proud of every second. That’s what it’s all about.

My journey on The Voice was over, but my journey to the top isn’t.

If you have any questions about The Voice that I didn’t cover, please leave a comment or email me at contact@amandaleepeers.com. I’ll write a new post with answers to all your questions!

Thanks for reading everyone! Subscribe to my blog to continue following my journey!

 

This Is The Voice – Part III

“Oh you’re calling from that TV show The Voice? Meh, sure I guess I’ll come to LA to sing in front of four celebrity judges and millions of viewers all over the world. Why not. I got nothin’ better to do.”

Months had gone by and I was over the wait. I was leaving it up to fate and went on with my life. At this point all the excitement had been sucked out the whole thing by these ridiculous waiting games. Just when I was about to give up on the whole thing, I got the call! It looks like I’d be heading back to LA!

This of course didn’t mean I made it to the actual Blind Audition, as cuts could still happen, but I was that much closer. I was curious to find out if I’d see any familiar faces.

Hey Roomie

This time I’d be in LA for almost a whole month! I also found out I’d have a roommate the entire time. “What?!” I wasn’t too keen on the idea, but I couldn’t really complain as I was basically getting a free vacation. Since I attended a local community college and just drove in and out every day, I never got to experience the whole college dorm thing. I guess this would serve as the college experience I never had.

I checked in and was on my way to see who my new roommate was. I stumbled into the room over my giant luggage bags and was greeted by a bleach blonde California girl – not the annoying kind, the cool kind. Her name was Megg. Luckily, we had a bunch in common and got along really well. This was going to be much better than I had anticipated.

I left my bags in the room and went to get all my info and paperwork. This time we didn’t require a chaperone, we just had to sign in and out and couldn’t be gone for longer than an hour or so. Three strikes and you’re out. They were serious about this rule.

Our hotel was situated on the infamous Ventura Blvd, where we had a lot more options to pass the time with. When I wasn’t doing something for The Voice my day usually consisted of eat, gym, eat, pool, walk around, eat, sleep. There was even a grocery store nearby, which was amazing for stocking up on snacks, water and the singer essential Throat Coat tea.

L to R: Megg, me and Sugar

After checking everything out, I headed back to the room and Megg and I chatted for a bit. Then there was a knock on the door. I opened it, and some girl was standing outside. She was there for Megg, and I was a bit confused as to who she was. Was she a part of The Voice or was she just a friend of Megg’s who came to visit?

She introduced herself as Sugar. She was another local Cali girl who was there for The Voice. I hadn’t seen either of them during the last round of auditions, because they were local to the LA area and only drove in and out for the meetings and audition. We all got along well and hung out together for the remainder of the trip.

That’s So LA

There was much more on the itinerary this time around – meetings, voice lessons, choreography, make-up, hair, wardrobe, band rehearsals, and lots of filming. We were about to get little taste of what commercial success would be like LA style! It was all really exciting, but as busy it got, I still found time for some good old-fashioned R&R.

Getting some R&R by the pool

Of course the singer circles were in full force now, and I stayed as far away as possible. Megg had the same disdain for them, and we both smirked as the volume of the singing gradually got louder. Oh well, to each their own, but I wasn’t about to lose my voice right before my Blind Audition.

Meetings

I looked forward to the meetings. It was the only hope of getting information on what was going to happen next. Then there were the legal meetings. We were separated into groups and presented with three law firms, in which we were to choose one to represent our group. All sorts of questions were asked, and I tried to pay close attention to how screwed over I was going to be after signing the contract. The Voice would basically own me for as long as I was on the show and even after I was off the show. What was my alternative though? Refuse to sign, and go home? Not a chance!

One of the many meetings

Along with production and legal meetings, there was what I like to call the “crazy test.” We were all given some sort of physiology Bubble Test to gauge our mental stability. Of course we were timed, and I didn’t get to finish but I was eager to learn what the test revealed about me. Everyone had to meet with a Physiologist who would review the test results and determine whether or not you would be a liability to the show.

You might think “Why would anyone be a liability to the show?” Well, I’ll tell you what, going through this process and being on the show is NOT for an unstable person. It is emotionally, mentally and physically draining and could cause someone to have a serious nervous breakdown if they aren’t ready for it. This show really f#@&$ with your head! If you can’t take rejection, DON’T EVER AUDITION FOR THIS SHOW! As a matter of fact, if you can’t take rejection, forget about music as a career.

Voice Lessons

The voice lessons were a pleasant surprise. I’m really glad we got them but for the Blind Audition, I’m not so sure they helped. My Blind Audition song, ZZ Ward’s Put The Gun Down, was naturally raw and emotion filled. The voice lessons had started to polish the raw character, and instead of just feeling the song, I started thinking about reaching a certain note or forming my mouth a certain way. It made me think way too much, and I felt like I lost that emotion the song really thrived on.

That said – all of The Voice vocal coaches are top notch, and I’m so grateful to have worked with them. Later in the competition they improved my singing immensely. For the Blind Audition, they got inside my head too much, which wasn’t any fault of the vocal coaches, it’s just a lot to think about before the big audition.

My favorite matcha brand Breakaway Matcha!

I did learn a whole lot about vocal health though. This was when I decided to stop drinking coffee and taking allergy medicine. Both dry you out and can affect your voice so I wanted to do everything I could to take care of my instrument. I switched to a strong type of green tea called matcha, and I’ve been drinking it ever since! I still miss coffee sometimes, but I feel immensely better off of it! Singers and non-singers alike should give it a try! My favorite is called Breakaway Matcha.

The single most important thing I learned from the vocal lessons was to always warm up your voice before singing!

Choreography

I was a little worried about this one. I had flashbacks of myself practicing break dancing and other cool dance moves in my bedroom. Those moves were best left in that bedroom a long time ago. Luckily, “choreography” was more of a “blocking” lesson – basically how the stage would be set-up, where we were supposed to stand and where to exit the stage. They did give some tips on how to make the performance more entertaining – no break dancing needed.

Make-Up

I’ve never been big on wearing make-up, and my hair was pretty easy to style – just blow dry and go. That would never fly on TV though or at least on The Voice. Because of the type of cameras they use, you had to wear a special HD foundation, so America doesn’t see every pore on your face. The make-up starts out very natural, so they can gradually build you up over the course of the show. As “natural” as it looked it was still way more make-up then I’ve ever put on my face.

Hair

The hair stylists were exactly what I had envisioned a Hollywood stylist to be. They embodied the stereotype I was hoping for, and I loved it! Unlike NYC, LA was living up to all my expectations and pre-conceived ideas of how it was out West. I’m sure any LA native would cringe if they knew what those ideas were, but for me it was just as it was supposed to be.

Wardrobe

Wardrobe was interesting and they surprisingly liked a lot of the clothes I had brought. They had racks and racks of clothes, shoes and accessories. I do like shopping, but after a while I suffer from shopper’s fatigue. This time they did the shopping for me, so no skin off my back! They even tailored my clothes to custom fit me. Not too shabby, huh? The other thing I had discovered while at wardrobe was that a couple rooms down, the cast from the TV show Parenthood hung out. I loved that show, so I thought that was pretty cool.

Band Rehearsals

The band rehearsals was where I came alive. I was in my element, and being able to rehearse with world-class musicians was even better. Paul Mirkovich, the band leader and piano player for The Voice band was super laid-back and said I had a cool voice. I was most excited about the guitar player Justin Derrico – who was P!nk’s guitar player. I’m a huge fan of P!nk so it was awesome playing with him!

One of the buildings we filmed in

Filming

I’ve never had any experience with filming, minus the silly plays my friends and I would record on my dad’s camcorder in middle school. I secretly had visions of the producers telling me “Wow you’re a real natural. You should get into acting!” Well, I never heard those words per say, but I was given plenty of encouragement. I actually really enjoyed filming and wouldn’t mind doing more of it in the future. I had make-up and hair touching me up between takes. I felt like a star already!

My Story

Remember back to Part I when I said you should know your story? Well, after some digging I realized what mine was. It wasn’t necessarily something I’d want to blast all over a major network television show, but I knew it was what helped me get here so I didn’t have much of a choice. That’s what the producers wanted, so I gave it to them. So here it goes.

I grew up in a strong Christian family, went to church every Sunday and spent a lot of free time doing churchy things. It was all I knew, but I enjoyed it and have a lot of great churchy memories.

Me at age 12 with my first guitar

I got a used acoustic guitar for Christmas when I was 12, took lessons and started playing in my church’s band. Years went by, we switched churches, but I continued to play guitar in the church band and stayed pretty involved in church activities.

There was something that I had always struggled with though. I always felt different from others, and couldn’t shake the feeling of being attracted to other girls. I never told anyone because I grew up thinking being gay was wrong and sinful. I guess it would be something that I’d just have to struggle through.

There was a point that I had confided in a good friend of mine who also struggled with the same thing. I thought, “Well maybe I’m not so different.” until one day I was called in for a meeting with my pastor.

He had found out through “my friend” that I was involved in a relationship with another woman, and because that church believed that was a sinful lifestyle, I was not allowed in any leadership role in the church – including being in the church band. I did have an option, however. I could go to counseling to be “fixed”, and once I had successfully completed counseling I could return to being in the church band. That was the last day I ever stepped foot in that church.

Playing guitar in the church band

I was devastated, but didn’t realize how much that affected me until being asked to talk about it on The Voice. They have a way of pulling things out of you. Because church and music were so intertwined for me, once I was rejected from the church I stopped playing music too.

Years went by. The wound healed, but the scar was still there. I played my guitar every now and then in my bedroom. A friend of mine came over one day and asked if I would sing for her. It took me forever to muster up the courage to do so, but eventually I did, and she was blown away. She started telling all her friends and encouraged me to start singing out again. I’ve been pursuing music ever since, and if it weren’t for her support and encouragement I wouldn’t be where I am today. My friend’s name is Sandy, and her and I are now partners.

Sandy and I backstage

After telling my story during one of the on-camera interviews I explained to one of the producers that I didn’t want to become the “token lesbian” on the show. I didn’t want them to focus on that instead of who I was as a musician. She understood, but explained that my story and struggle is what helped get me here, and that she would do her best to spin it in the best light she could. I agreed that would be okay. I didn’t want to be difficult to work with and decided the best thing I could do was just to be true to myself.

Looking back, I am SO happy I got to tell my story and let America hear the struggles the LGBTQ community goes through. I’m actually really proud of myself for telling that story on national TV. I never talked to anyone about it and had buried it deep inside. I needed to get that out. The Voice helped me do that, and I’ll be forever grateful to them for giving me that platform to not only showcase my voice but to also tell my story.

To Be Continued…

This Is The Voice! – Part II

Jet setting, fancy hotels, palm trees and 80 degrees of pure happiness – now this was something I could get used to! I left the snowy gloom of Rochester behind me and entered into a strange new land where the sun actually shined every day. Upon arriving at the hotel, a commercial was being shot in the lobby. Yup, I’m in LA alright!

Into The Wild West

With every new level of The Voice journey, there were new rules and directions. The next round was the “Executive Audition.” Everyone was given a giant list of songs in which we were to rank our top 25 in the order we’d like to sing them in. Out of our ranking, the music department would pick a song which we had to sing. Here was the deal for the Executive Audition:

1. Aside from music department’s song pick, we had to prepare two other songs of our own choice. Again, they preferred modern, moderate to up-beat songs. No originals.
2. This time no one was allowed to accompany you. Backing tracks were required for all songs, but you could accompany yourself for one song only, and it couldn’t be for the song the music department picked for you.
3. They really encouraged originality, but humorously pointed out that just slowing down a song doesn’t get you any points. Switch it up and make it your own!
4. Guess what song they picked for me? Yup you got it – ZZ Ward’s Put The Gun Down. I couldn’t have been happier! It was my #1 pick, as I was a huge fan of ZZ Ward already and was already performing that song at my shows. Here were my picks for the Executive Audition:

1. Put The Gun Down by ZZ Ward (music department pick)
2. Rehab by Amy Winehouse
3. Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood

I’m pretty computer and audio savvy, so I edited my own arrangements of the tracks and sent them in to the music department. I love playing guitar, but I wanted my audition to be all about my voice and performance – no distractions. I was so ready for this! I packed my bags and headed out west!

Sing Into Spring!

We had an itinerary to follow, mostly just meetings and of course the impending Executive Audition. The rest of time we were free to roam the hotel and walk across the street with supervision. Single files, chaperones and meeting new classmates. It felt like elementary school all over again!

Everything we did had to be top secret. I started to feel like I was a part some secret society. We were no longer there for The Voice. To anyone who asked, we were there for a “Sing Into Spring” Singing Camp. The importance of confidentiality was pounded into our brains at every glance – which is understandable since everything happens before the show airs on TV.

I kept to myself for the most part, occasionally chatting with my fellow “campers.” The singing circles though? Forget it. They just weren’t my thing. In this type of situation, they just wear out your voice and your psyche. The staff even warned against them, but that didn’t slow them down.

Singing Circles: An instance where two or more singers get together to show off their pipes in a public place. Veiled as a happy bonding ritual of fellow musicians, it’s secretly a passive aggressive way of scoping out the competition. It usually turns into a contest of who can sing the loudest and best. They seem to grow in numbers and sometimes branch off into multiple locations. Almost always started by a guitar slinger.

Guitar Slinger: A guy or gal who carries around an acoustic guitar wherever they go, looking for an opportunity to sing a song and/or get asked to start a singing circle.

The Executive Audition

The time had come. I had my appointment for the Executive Audition, and I was feeling good! I walked into the room, but something caught me off guard. It was dimly lit, candles and all, and there were about 25+ people sitting in chairs. “Did I take a wrong turn?” It looked like a scene from VH1’s Storytellers. I wasn’t expecting this. It was like a real industry showcase! Not that I’ve ever been to one, but if I had I’m pretty sure this is what it would look like. There were record label reps, producers, and other important industry heads seated, and I was the main attraction.

My nerves kicked in a bit, but I did my best. Michelle McNulty (the one from my Philly audition) was in the back jamming to my performance, which helped me loosen up. I got through Put The Gun Down and Rehab, and that’s all they needed to hear. As I was on my way out the door, I got a “Great job!” from a lady in the audience, which boosted my confidence. I was then told to report to a specific room in the hotel – most likely to either hear I made it or I didn’t.

When I got there, there were others seated waiting to go in. Everything was very mysterious, and no one really knew what was going on. I went in but once again got no answer, just more paperwork. Turns out I’d be going home again to wait for a “call.” Arghhhhhh! Not this again!

To Be Continued…

This Is The Voice! – Part I

It was late summer of 2013, and I had just broken up with the band. It was a bittersweet goodbye, but I was ready to move on the the next chapter. They say the best way to get over a break-up is to get some rebound action. Luckily, I had no trouble keeping myself busy with solo gigs the rest of the year.

The evil Rochester winter was starting to set in. I sat hunched over my keyboard in my office cubicle, like a cave man huddled over life-giving fire. Mesmerized by my life-giving fire, I sat staring, much like I am now, just passing time. Then something interesting happened. I received an email from a casting company working with NBC’s The Voice. They said they found me on YouTube and would like me to audition for the show.

A flash of excitement passed over me, but then a jaded voice inside my head rolled it’s eyes and apathetically whispered “It’s probably a scam.” As with anything else I get involved with, I Google’d the crap out of it and found that the company was actually legit.

“We are looking for strong singers and I found you on YouTube and love your sound. With that being said, I would love to chat with you about our auditions and see if you’d be interested in coming to one of our appointment cities this winter.”

– The Voice Casting Department

I had sworn off TV singing shows after auditioning for American Idol, The X Factor (twice) and The Voice and never making it through to the TV judges. I had decided it just wasn’t for me and that I was going to make it to the top the old fashion way.

Even after receiving that email I was still on the fence. If I did make it through this time, was that really the path I wanted to take? I thought about it for a few days and figured since they contacted me this time, it would be silly to turn the opportunity down. Philadelphia here I come!

Show Me Some Love Philly

Benjamin Franklin Bridge near our hotel

There were no lines to wait in this time, at least not long ones out in the freezing cold. I bypassed the “first” audition thanks to my YouTube skills and went straight to the “second” audition.

I brought back-up, as I always do, for moral support and just plain fun. My friend, now girlfriend, Sandy, my dad and my ex-bandmate and friend Brice were the lucky ones this time around. So here was the deal for this audition:

1. I had to have three songs prepared, either to a track or with one person accompanying me. I could accompany myself for one of the songs as well if I wanted to.
2. I remember from auditioning for The Voice the last time that they really favor modern and mostly up-beat songs that were popular within the last 5 years or so. Original songs were very discouraged. I made sure to stick to that as best as possible and tried picking songs that were diverse yet still showed my style and personality.
3. My original audition songs were Tighten Up by the Black Keys, You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse and No One by Alicia Keys in that order. Brice played guitar for the first two songs, and I played guitar for the last.

Nerves weren’t really an issue for me this time around, since I was good with the outcome either way. We walked in and were greeted by a very zealous, energetic lady, Michelle McNulty (who later turned out to be one of the most awesome people I’ve worked with). There were a couple other somber looking executives in the room. I wasn’t phased by their robot like stature. Here goes nothing!

Brice and I waiting to be called in for the audition.

Brice hit the chords perfect, the vibe was relaxed and I sang with confidence! It felt great, just like it always should. I think that’s the key. Confidence is the better than the best voice, coolest outfit or most gorgeous face.

Confidence is the key!

As a side note – it also helps if you act like the rest of your life isn’t contingent on that one moment. Moments and opportunities come and go. Be yourself. Do your best and just go for it! Whatever happens next is out of your control.

The more you develop as an artist the more comfortable you get with who you are as an artist. It’s no longer someone you’re trying to be, it’s who you are. It’s ingrained in you, and it becomes natural. This comes with time and experience.

Back to the story…

The audition went great and I figured whatever their decision, I would walk away happy with my performance. We waited. An intern asked me to come with them while Brice waited outside. We weren’t sure if this was a good or bad sign, but I was optimistic. I was taken to another room where I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork. It felt like I was filling out a job application and resume.

Sandy, Brice and my dad (taking the picture) patiently waiting outside to hear some news

Did this mean I made it? There were no golden tickets handed out, and I was a bit lost as to what was actually happening. I filled out my paperwork like a good student and handed it in. I’ve done this before, twice for The X Factor (where I made it to the second audition both times). I’ve learned another key to these types of shows is having a great backstory. This is TV, not music school. They want entertainment. They want a story.

Know Your Story

At first I had no idea what my story was. I thought “My life is boring. Nothing tragic has happened to me. I have no story to tell!” I had buried my story so deep that I almost forgot about it altogether. Everyone has a story! You just have to dig a little and realize what yours is. It took me a few times to get it right, but this time I knew exactly how to hook them in. More on that later.

I was then taken to a different room, where I was to give an on-camera interview with one of the producers. Well, here’s my job interview. It was very casual and the producer was super nice. She went off my paperwork and asked me to talk about my answers. Part of the reason, if not the whole reason for the interview was to see how I would look and speak on camera. It would also serve as a reference for the executive producers to review in their decision of who would make it through to the next round.

I finished the interview with a little less confidence than the audition, but I was still feeling good. Everything felt right this time. I was completely confident in who I was as an artist. My song choices fit me well, and I was happy with my performance. Now, for anyone who’s ever auditioned for these types of shows, you know that there’s many rounds of auditions before you get to the actual “TV audition.” The Voice was no different.

After the interview they sent me on my way with an information sheet. “So did I make it through?”  I asked. “We’ll be in touch.” they casually answered back, with a delayed smile. Ugh, the dreaded “call backs.” Oh well.

The Reading Terminal Market in Philly – our last stop before heading home.

Before making our way back home we stopped at the Reading Terminal Market, home to tons of restaurants, shops and Hershel’s monstrous corned beef reuben. I couldn’t resist! We all indulged our tastebuds as a reward for the adventure we had undertaken and left for home feeling confident, happy and stuffed!

For the next month or so, I jumped every time my phone rang, hoping to see some unrecognizable number. I started to give up and tried to shove it in the corner of my mind.

Here I was back in 2011, performing in front of the judges at Lovin’ Cup’s “Lovin Cup Idol” singing competition.

Sandy and I decided to grab some dinner together at one of our favorite spots and the place where I had gotten my start as a singer – Lovin’ Cup. As we were about to walk in, I glanced down at my phone. I had a missed called from a weird number. I listened to the voicemail. This was it! I called the number back and got confirmation I had made it to the next round of auditions!

It was only appropriate, the next part of my journey would happen at the place where it all started. Ironic how the universe works sometimes.

To Be Continued…