Why I Cut Off All My Hair and Quit Music

I had always dreamed of being the girl who could cut off all her hair and not have a care in the world. Then, those little voices always managed to creep in. “Who will I be without my curls? What if I don’t look good with short hair? Will people look at me differently?” Today was different.

“I want to chop it all off.” I told my hairdresser with conviction. It was time for a change. After all, India Arie said it best…

I am not my hair,
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations
I am a soul that lives within

If you read my last blog post, you probably know I needed to take a break from music for a bit. I was feeling burned out. The whole thing was feeling stale, including my image as an artist. I started to feel like I was spinning my wheels in quick sand, and the only way to survive was to stop moving. So I stopped, and for some people that meant I “quit” music.

The truth is, I never really quit music. I just took a break from playing shows. I needed time to re-evaluate some things and adjust my sails. I spent my free time writing and working on new songs. I also decided it was time for a new look.

Right after I chopped my hair for the first time!

As ridiculous as this sounds, I felt like my hair owned me, like I owed my curls something. No one owns ALP! So I decided to take the plunge and do something I’ve always wanted to do – chop off all my hair. Turns out, I love having short hair, and I don’t regret it for a second! In my opinion, every woman should do it at least once in their life!

Now, if you remember, I quit my day job after The Voice and became a full-time musician. So after I decided to “quit” being a full-time musician, I was faced with the reality that I’d need to pick up a full-time job again. So I did.

At first it was a refreshing breeze of consistency and predictability, but my inner musician quickly rose up and gave my those “What the hell are you doing?” eyes. I began to resent the fact that I had succumbed to the 9-5 life again. I had bills to pay, a wedding to plan and new music I wanted to record. I saw no other way.

Then, it happened.

I realized that my music dreams were the most valuable thing to me aside from my family. I was determined to make it work! I reached out to producer Sam Polizzi to see if he’d be interested in working with me on a new album. I sent him some demos, and he immediately sent me back ideas he had for one of my songs. I knew right away he was the right guy to work with.

The songs I was writing were deep, personal, haunting reflections of issues I don’t talk about much.

It was time to show the world a different side of me – the side that hurts, that screws things up, the side that’s not all sunshine and butterflies, and at the same time – the side that’s overcome a lot of shit.

Since the new year, I’ve been working hard in the studio with Sam to make the music reflect the feeling of the lyrics. He’s done an excellent job of doing that, and between the two of us, we’ve come up with some killer sounds and ideas. I am so excited to share these songs with the world! I’ve got lots more to say so that won’t be the end of it either!

I’ve been able to pull off paying for all the recordings costs, including hiring musicians, renting studio space and paying for Sam’s time. Quality comes with a price though and we’ve come to a standstill until I have the funds to mix, master and manufacture. I was leery at first because I hate asking people for money, but I decided to try reaching out to my fans to help me out. So I launched an IndieGoGo Campaign to help do just that.

I’ve never been able to afford making a music video or a promotion campaign so I’m stretching my goal to make that happen as well. Making this EP is amazing in itself, but getting it heard all across the country would be epic! That’s really what needs to happen in order to take my music career further. I know we can do this together!

So why did I cut off my hair and “quit” music? Well, because sometimes you need to step away from something you love in order to see its value. I know music is what I was born to do. If I can change just one person’s life with my music I will have succeeded. But changing the world with my music? That’s what it’s all about.

Life After The Voice

Lia Lando from News 10 NBC and I showing off my Team Gwen shirt in studio.

The weeks following my TV debut on NBC’s The Voice were anything but uneventful. TV interviews, newspaper, magazine, blog articles and radio spots quickly became common place. I was even asked to open for Mat Kearney and The Script at a radio sponsored concert. I received emails and messages from people all over the world expressing their gratitude for sharing my story and my voice. The response was overwhelming, and I welcomed it with open arms.

Before my involvement on The Voice, I had worked as a graphic designer at the same place for over 7 years. It was challenging to give my music career a real chance while working a day job. With all the traveling I was doing for The Voice and the gigging opportunities I received, I got the courage to quit my day job and persue music full-time.

Mat Kearney and I backstage for the 100.5 The Drive Mistletoe Show in 2014.

I took advantage of my momentum and free time and decided to start recording a solo CD. This time I wanted to try my hand at recording and producing it on my own. Over the winter months, I worked with a local drummer to lay down some tracks. It had its challenges, but in about three months worth of time we finished recording. I took the tracks to a local engineer and had him mix everything. Then I sent it off to get mastered and pressed.

In April of 2015 I released my first solo EP (which you can purchase through my website or on iTunes). I then organized my own North East tour to promote it. I was pretty proud of myself for accomplishing so much and mostly all on my own. I probably would’ve never been able to do this without the The Voice. Why? Because The Voice gave me the momentum, the resources and the courage to quit my day job and spend the time needed to achieve these things.

So has being on The Voice helped you?

The number one thing I get asked about being on The Voice is “So has it helped you?” It has helped me immensely! I’ve gained a ton of new fans, and it definitely helps when I’m trying to book out of town shows. Also, as I stated earlier, it has allowed me to quit my day job, which in turn has allowed me to travel more and spend more time on my music. Aside from all that, the experience alone taught me so much about myself. It was a huge learning experience.

Performing at the New York State Fair 2015

Did you make any connections?

The second most common thing I get asked is “Did you make any connections?” I think the general public has a bit of a misconception about these reality singing shows. These shows are in the business of making good television, not necessarily good music or music artists. Sure, I met lawyers, producers and sound engineers who all have connections in the music industry, but they aren’t there looking for the next Justin Bieber. They are there because they are getting a paycheck from the show.

The music industry is so different these days. Record labels can’t afford to sign artists who haven’t “proven” themselves yet. By “proven” I mean selling a ton of records on their own, and/or selling out shows. You may be thinking “Well what about the coaches. You at least made that contact.” Not quite. Despite how it may be portrayed on TV, the coaches don’t spend their free time working with the contestants. They have very busy lives, not to mention they are artists themselves. I was able to email Gwen through a Voice email client, which I’m sure isn’t even active anymore. So it’s not like I could contact her even if I wanted to. So, no, I did not make any music industry connections, but I did make some new friends.

Are you going to try again?

Sometimes I get asked if I’d ever go back and try again. I don’t even have to think twice about this one. Nope. Not because I didn’t enjoy it, but because once was enough. I had a great time, made some new friends and learned a lot. I came, I saw, I conquered. Now it’s time to move on.

Why the hell are you still in Rochester?

Occasionally I also get the “What are you still doing in Rochester?” I hate this question/comment. Maybe it’s because I ask myself the same thing at times. Maybe it’s because it plays on one of my biggest fears – looking back on my life from my deathbed and regretting the things I didn’t do. I’ve tried to get away from the mindset that living in a big city gives you legitimacy as an artist, but it still strikes a chord with me. This is another misconception the general public seems to have. They equate good talent and level of seriousness with big cities.

For the past 5 years I’ve been saying this was my last year in Rochester. It’s mostly because I’m so over the winter, but also because I succumbed to that very mindset. This past summer changed my perspective. I realized something while I was on tour – I can do mostly everything I want to do while still living in Rochester. Just because I live in Rochester doesn’t mean I can’t travel to play shows, or work with other producers. The only downside I’ve found to living in a smaller city is the lack of available, professional and diverse musicians to work with. There’s way more options in a bigger city.

Right now, someone is playing a cat piano and selling the songs in iTunes.

Like I said earlier, the music industry has changed drastically since the Internet phenomena. You can now reach millions of people with a simple upload of a song or video. You couldn’t do that before. The record labels used to be the music gatekeepers. Now the Internet is the music gatekeeper and it’s free game for anyone and everyone, but I digress.

Life after The Voice has been wonderful! And while I don’t want to only be know as “the girl from The Voice”, I’m taking advantage of it while I can. I know pretty soon, it’ll just be another bullet on my resume or a fun fact I tell at shows. But until then, I’ll be riding the waves. Cowabunga dudes!