This Is The Voice! – Part VI

You win some, you lose some, but in the end it’s all in how you play the game. And you better be damn proud of how you played it!

In the weeks leading up to the Battles I did nothing but take some much needed chill time, which of course included practicing. Almost every song I cover gets a unique A.L.P. spin, and because I had already been playing Jolene for so long, it did take a little adjusting to conform to the Battle arrangement. I didn’t want to over think it, but I needed a secret weapon. I needed to add something to the song that no one had heard or would expect.

Something else I tried to work on was my “blocking” or how I would move on stage. I had to go big this time. Sandy really challenged me in this aspect. She said to really go for it, even if it feels awkward. I’ve had my fair share of experience on stage without a guitar, but not like this. I had to bump it up about 10 notches. I practiced in front of a mirror and studied my movements right down to the details. I practiced until it no longer looked like a middle school dance routine.

About a month went by, and I was on a plane back to LA. I was feeling confident and excited. This time I was way more relaxed about everything. I knew exactly what to expect this time. I walked into the hotel cool as a cucumber. Looks like I’d be getting another chance at rooming with Jean Kelley.

Jean was quite hilarious and full of energy. She was also an avid Harry Potter fan. I’ve never watched any of the Harry Potter movies nor read any of the books (not that I would be opposed to doing so). Upon learning this, Jean enthusiastically played a Harry Potter movie she had on her laptop and explained what was happening in each scene. I enjoyed her energy, and we frequently exchanged music stories and Voice conspiracy theories. She was partnered up with Sugar for the Battle Round, and they gave me a sneak peak of their Battle performance. Holy Crap! Talk about making the stage explode!

The same schedule followed as usual: voice lessons, blocking, filming and meeting with our coach one last time. Taylor and I presented our polished performance of Jolene to Gwen and she loved it, though she did have some suggestions. She said we had to interact with each other more. We had to create a performance, not just sing. I agreed. After all, we wanted our Battle to be interesting enough to get air time. The last thing I wanted was to get montaged. A boring performance wouldn’t help our case.

Getting Montaged: Having your story, interviews and/or performances get cut or shown for only a bleep of a second on TV. This is the worst thing that could happen to a contestant. Getting montaged has nothing to do with whether you made it on the show or not. No matter how far you made it, if you got montaged the viewers would never learn who you are.

Taylor and I got together a few different times to make sure we completely nailed it. I suggested interacting a bit more, but he said he didn’t want to rehearse anything. He wanted it to look natural. I did too, but I also wanted it to be an entertaining performance. I brought it up several times, but he just wanted to go with the flow and feel the moment. Hmm, I thought maybe he had something up his sleeve and that he would break out some crazy breakdance move that would have Gwen melting in her chair. Well, whatever he decided to do, I knew I had to go big.

It was the day of the Battles and everyone was getting pumped. This time none of the wardrobe came out of my own closet. I firmly reinstated NO HEELS or dresses. They respected that, and I was pretty happy with what they picked out – blacked studded leggings with a casual suit jacket and some rocker boots. It looked pretty rockstar, and everyone was jealous of my sparkly pants. Even a couple of the hair dressers and make-up artists checked the tag to see who they were made by. Taylor looked adorable in his folky hipster outfit. This was going to be a great battle!

The infamous sparkly pants the day of the Battles!

We met up with Gwen backstage before going on. She was so sweet and told us we both looked great. She quietly whispered how nervous she was, which was endearing. She gave us a pep talk for the camera, and we were sent to our spots to be announced into the ring.

“Amanda Lee Peers – the confident graphic designer from Rochester, NY!” I walked out and waved to Sandy and my dad sitting in the audience (they allowed my dad to come in place of my mom this time). I met Taylor on stage with a curtsy and he returned with a bow (one of the few little things we did rehearse together).

We started in. I was having a bit of trouble hearing myself, but I just let muscle memory take over and went for it. The a cappella intro was dark and haunting, then the music kicked in. I cued the audience to start clapping their hands as Taylor took the first verse. “Go for it, go for it!” was all that kept ringing in my head. I came back with raw energy and soul, using the mic stand (one of Gwen’s suggestions) like it was my dance partner. Taylor stayed in one spot for the most part, but what his performance lacked he made up with his vocals. They were smooth and fluid. I pulled out all the stops, going up front in center and dropping to one knee.

The apex of our performance was coming up, and Taylor and I faced each other once again. I leaned into him, hoping he would see my game and lean back into me, but he just backed away. “Come on dude! Work with me here!” I was thinking. He slowly came back in for the end of the song and we sang into each others eyes, just as we had for the beginning of the song. We hugged it out and nervously looked at the judges to hear what they had to say. Check out our performance here.

Adam started off stating his undying love for Taylor (Adam was the other coach that turned around for Taylor in the Blinds), but then went on to say how Taylor should take notes on how passionate my performance was. Even though he said I had Taylor beat on the performance aspect, his pick was still Taylor.

Blake commented on how I “sang the crap out of that song” and that my performance was more believable. Something that they didn’t air was Blake’s disdain for Taylor’s lack of enthusiasm on stage. He stated in more or less words that “you should never look like you’re ungrateful to be on that stage.” Ouch. Blake said his pick was me.

Pharrell echo’d Adam and Blake’s sentiments on how well I worked the stage saying he appreciated how lost I got in the song and that my ad libs were beautiful. The ad libs were my “secret weapon” that I had saved for the Battle. I’m glad someone took notice to that! He also commented on Taylor’s star quality. They cut out that Pharrell’s pick was me.

Then there’s Gwen. She had nothing good to say about my performance and praised Taylor for how far he had come since the first practice with her and Gavin. She then went on to point out she was the only coach that turned around for me and how downhill my Blind performance went after she turned her chair. Granted, it wasn’t my best vocals, but I don’t think I deserved that. She made no comment on how I just poured my heart and soul into performing Jolene, especially after all three coaches pointed that out. Regardless, I was hoping she was just trying to make Taylor feel better before she picked me. “The winner of the Battle is going to be…..Taylor.”

My heart sank. I was in shock. I hugged Taylor and thanked the coaches for their kind words. Begging wasn’t my style so I just expressed how grateful I was for the opportunity and walked off stage to give them all a hug, anticipating a steal. I hugged Gwen first, and she regretfully said “Please don’t hate me.” I didn’t hate her. I knew it was all a part of the game. Pharrell told me he hoped I would come back next year. Blake was the last one to hug before the exit. Once I got past his chair that was it. I gave the giant teddy bear a hug, and he told me I did a great job. I was past the chair and no steal. I couldn’t believe it.

Sandy and my dad were there waiting for me as I exited the stage. They both were emotional, but I tried to stay strong. I didn’t want the cameras to see my disappointment. An interview followed with one of the producers. She stated they were all just as much shocked as I was about Gwen’s decision. One of the questions that was brought up was “Is this the end of the road for your music career?” Ha! “Absolutely not. This was only a pitstop on the way to the top.” I replied.

I was then escorted out to a golf cart where I’d be taken to give them back their clothes and change into mine. Then there was the “exit interview.” Basically, I had to meet with a shrink to make sure I wasn’t suicidal after being booted from the show. It sounds silly, but I can see why they do this. No matter what you tell yourself, no matter how you act, reality TV really messes with you mentally, emotionally and physically. I was emotional to say the least. I was heartbroken. I was confused. I felt betrayed. Tossed away like trash. I wasn’t going to kill myself, but I won’t lie and say I was fine. I wasn’t.

Me, Sandy and my dad went back to the hotel to spend the last night together before leaving the next morning. Luckily, they put us in the same hotel. During the course of the show, family and friends stayed in a different hotel, and were not allowed to see contestants except when filming.

I avoided Taylor at all costs. Not because I didn’t like him or that I blamed him, but because I felt like I won that Battle fair and square. I was resentful. I wasn’t ready to talk to him or really anyone else for that matter. It was getting late and of course those damn singer circles were roaring. This was all new to Sandy, and she was enjoying the music and camaraderie. I couldn’t stand it. We found a quiet place in a different part of the hotel. I completely broke down on her. I just couldn’t understand why I hadn’t been picked. It was killing me inside, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

I skipped spending my last night with my roommate Jean Kelley and opted to stay with Sandy and my dad. The next morning we all had breakfast, and I said goodbye to fellow contestants Ethan Butler and Griffin who happened to be having breakfast at the same time. We waited outside for the van to pull up. Jean Kelley came out and gave me a big hug goodbye. She had made it to the Knockouts, and I was happy for her.

I was curious to see who else would be joining me in the van home. Jonathan Wyndham walked up and started putting his bags in the van. “You’re leaving?” I was shocked! Jonathan was my buddy during the legal meetings. I’d always sit next to him and ask him to explain what all the legal jargon meant. Well, one thing was certain. I wasn’t alone.

The conspiracy theories started swirling in my head. Right before my Battle, I was pulled aside by a producer. “We need you to re-record what you said about being kicked out of the church.” What? Why? “Our legal team doesn’t want to get in a battle with the Christian church. Can you just say you didn’t feel welcome at the church anymore?” Did I have a choice? Not really. This literally happened right before I walked on stage.

I started replaying that in my head along with the fact that two of the coaches said I won that battle. Why wasn’t I stolen by them? I started thinking my journey was cut short, because The Voice didn’t want to deal with any legal difficulties my story might cause. I aired my theory with the show and followed it up with a phone call to one the staff members.

I started telling her my theory and completely balled my eyes out – which very few people have seen or heard me do. Seeing that I was clearly torn apart about the decision, she reassured me that I gave an amazing performance and that I’m more than who I was on The Voice. She tried to put my conspiracy theories to rest, stating she wouldn’t work for a company who would do something like that. I appreciated her reassurance. While I still wasn’t sure if I bought it, I welcomed her encouraging words.

For the next couple weeks I didn’t want to get off the couch. All sorts of self-loathing and self-pitying thoughts came into my head. One day Sandy finally gave me a well deserved ass kicking. I had my time to mourn, now it was time to regain my confidence and be proud of who I am and what I did. She was right. Enough was enough. This wasn’t me. I pushed through the pain and started writing and working on my music again. I wasn’t going to let The Voice conquer me.

My friends and family getting ready to watch my TV debut!

I wrote another letter to The Voice production team and thanked them for the entire experience. I also thanked them for giving me the opportunity to share my story and my voice and asked them to air my performances as well as my story. I emailed Gwen and expressed my gratitude once again for turning her chair and giving me the opportunity to be on the show. Lastly, I sent Taylor a long overdue congratulatory email and wished him the best of luck on the show.

The TV show aired and sure enough my entire story and performances were shown. I was so grateful for that. Watching my Battle on TV lifted my spirits, and my confidence was restored. I performed just as good if not better than I thought I did. It was one of the best performances I had ever given! I had absolutely no regrets. In life, you can only control what you do. You can’t control the actions of others. I gave it 110% and was proud of every second. That’s what it’s all about.

My journey on The Voice was over, but my journey to the top isn’t.

If you have any questions about The Voice that I didn’t cover, please leave a comment or email me at contact@amandaleepeers.com. I’ll write a new post with answers to all your questions!

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